Poem - "The Ballad of Burly Burt"

Burly Burt had on a shirt
He'd learnt to be right curt
His arms were burnt
His moustache curlt
He slurred his dirty words

Four kooky cops came clambering
Caps clasped in crooked claws
To catch a crabby chambermaid
Who'd broken all their laws

And Burly Burt was quite unnerved
He sawr it all proceed
They dragged her cursing, cane and cape
The strangest sight he'd seed

So Burly Burt got angry
He burst out from the door
He roared "have mercy on the girl,
you'll dash her on the floor."

But kooky cops, they cannot catch
Complaints called out this way
They crammed her crosswise in the car
Where she did kick, but stay

Then Burly Burt tore off his shirt
And bared his brazen breast
With bellowing he bashed their brains
Then went inside, to rest

And Millicent, her name it was
Climbed up his quiet stair
Big Burly Burt undid the door
To sit her on a chair

He looked into her face, so plain
And said, “Your eyes are two,
I'd like it if you married me.”
To which she said, “I do.”

And there they clung together
Dear Millicent and Burt
While lay the coppers conked outside
Their corpses cold, inert